$100 Gift Card Drawing for Beatrice!

$100 Gift Card Drawing

to benefit Beatrice's Adoption Grant

Your *choice of $100 Gift Card

or

$100 donation to waiting child or family in-progress of your choice!

How to enter:

$5 = 1 entry

$10 = 3 entries

$20 = 8 entries

$50 = 25 entries

To enter, please donate directly to Beatrice's grant and then forward me the receipt to my email address: ash_langton @ yahoo.com.

Please put in subject line: Gift Card

Drawing will end June 10th, just in time for Father's Day

*Choice of gift cards include, but not limited to:

Visa Gift Card

Lowe's

Home Depot

Ace Hardware

iTunes

Amazon

Target

WalMart

For a valid entry, a receipt must be forwarded to ash_langton @ yahoo.com by 10:00 p.m. EST on June 10, 2013.  The companies listed are not affiliated with this blog.  Please email me at: ash_langton @ yahoo.com with questions.  Good luck!

Leftover Deodorant

From previous posts, obviously it isn’t all rainbows and unicorns… or in my case, blocks and race cars, so here is another small dose of reality around here.

This post was inspired by a conversation I recently had with a good friend.

Because I can’t seem to find a decent time to go to bed – too many shows to catch up on DVR – I end up waking up to the tune of a 4-year old across the house screaming, “Mom!  Come wipe my butt!”

This is a phenomenon that I can’t solve.  My 4-year old is fully capable of completing the wiping task on his own, but lately he has the excuse, “Mom, I can’t wipe myself because I went too much.”  Lately, I’ve been bribing him with school – “If you can’t wipe yourself, you can’t go to school.”  He usually wipes.  I usually win.

Since I can’t bribe him about wiping himself from my bedroom, I have to get out of bed and walk across the house to motivate him to use the toilet paper.  This process of bribery becomes a battle of the wits and 1000+ questions…

“Mom, but the teachers will help me…”

“No son, they will not.”

“Mom, I’ll just call you to help me.”

“No son, you cannot.”

He will continue to bring up solutions to the butt-wiping dilemma until either I’m too tired to dispute his questions or my groggy head reminds him that he can’t go to school.  By this time, I have 2 other children hanging on my legs with their favorite cereal in-hand.  Off to the kitchen we go.

I forgot to do something important.  Can you guess what it is?  Here is a little story to help you figure it out.

I’m filling out a questionnaire at a certain location and one of the questions read:

Do you floss twice daily?

I get frustrated about the question, not because I have to answer no but because there isn’t enough room on the paper to give my full answer… No, I’m lucky if I get to brush my teeth twice daily.  Flossing?  Ha!  You guys are funny!

And so in a few minutes after handing the clipboard to the secretary, with a smirk on my face, I find myself in the dental chair. The dental hygienist is reading over my chart and I hear some mmmm hmmm’s and then a short in-take of breath, “Ma’am, you don’t brush twice daily?” 

In my mind, I reply:

“Lady, I’m having a really awesome day when I’m able to brush and floss just once in a day!  But the greatest days are when I’m not stuck wearing 2-day old, leftover deodorant – those are days when I get to shower!”

In reality, I reply with a shrug of a shoulder and an “eh”…

I must not be doing all that bad because at my mature age of 30, I have yet to have a cavity.  And the dental hygienist isn’t plugging her nose even though I’m wearing 2-day old deodorant.

Happy Memorial Day (long weekend) everyone!

Venting the Truth

I just need to vent the truth...

Everyday I check Beatrice's profile to see if another family has committed to her.  No one has and it breaks my heart.  It also breaks my heart that another may actually commit to her and adopt her because I am having a hard time transitioning from her soon-to-be Mama to her prayer warrior and advocate.  I still have a strong desire to be her Mommy but through prayer and prayer from others, I am beginning to feel at peace, acknowledging that she may not come home to our family.

Yet she still crosses my mind everyday.  In every family activity we do, I think about what Beatrice would be doing if she were here.  Usually, she is playing with Ella... or I'm holding her... she's always enjoying herself.  And then I miss her.

I also have those dark moments where I am overwhelmed with the hustle and bustle of raising small children, so close in age.  I can hear my negative self-talk, I can hear it mock my heart with its cruel tone...

See!  Ashley, you can barely handle the ones you have...

But that is all it is, self-talk.  It holds no weight.  It is discouraging and created out of my own personal criticisms.  My negative self-talk (exactly what that is) forgets that strength comes from God, not Ashley.

So I brush the self-talk away.  I ask God for strength and wisdom.  I put my trust in the Lord, that we have positioned ourselves in a way that is pleasing to God, as we wait for Alex's medical procedures to begin and seek guidance about Beatrice.  I trust that God will hold our hands through the unknowns of Alex's health and the impact this has on our family staying a family of 5 or growing to a family of 6.

I'm trusting and praying.  Struggling to keep the faith, but keeping it.

Prayer

Lord Jesus, inflame my heart with your love and burn away everything within it that may be unloving, unkind, ungrateful, unholy, and not in accord with your will. May I always love what you love and reject what is contrary to your love and will for my life.
(www.presentationministries.com)

Beatrice’s Grant

On a previous post at the bottom there was an announcement made in purple to say the following:

Beatrice’s grant increase announcement was premature and I apologize for any inconveniences.

You may be wondering why and I can guarantee you that there are things going on behind the scenes that are truly, very big blessings to Beatrice.  That donation is being used in a different way to bless Beatrice’s life.  I know that Beatrice’s story will not involve that orphanage for much longer.  I know that she will eventually know the love a family and that a family will be so blessed by her.

Please keep Beatrice in your prayers.

Little Reminders

I keep finding little reminders of her, insignificant items that are in my home because I had once anticipated her arrival.  These items jerk me out of autopilot with their hard kick to my stomach.  The pain in my abdomen becomes a hard knot and reminds me of the beautiful, baby girl that I had once claimed as my daughter.  This precious child of God that I had prayed for and began preparing for will most likely never make use out of these items.  So they will remain with their price tags still intact, in the locations I placed them in, until I have the mental and emotional strength to either give them away or find another use.

Beatrice

I’ve gone from feeling overwhelmed (when we were still pursuing Beatrice) to feeling depressed and mourning the loss of her (now).

I’ve become obsessed with checking her profile – has anyone committed to her yet?  I look at her profile, hopeful that a family has committed to Sweet Girl but at the same time, dreading that someone has…

What hurts the most is that now, she is going to be in that darn orphanage longer than she needs to be.  And I caused it.  I let her go. 

Do you see the theme here in my pain?  I’ve been making it all about me and it is NOT!  This entire time, from day one, from the day we first committed to Sweet Girl, it has been about HER!  It is about Beatrice and finding her a family.  She deserves a family and darn it, I’m going to do everything I can to make sure she has one.

I may not be able to adopt her right now, but maybe someone else can. And I will assist them in doing so.  But if she is still sitting there… waiting… and our circumstances are better – when our son is healed and on the path to recovery, then I pray that my husband and I will be led to adding her to our family. 

But friends, she can’t wait that long!  PLEASE, I beg anyone reading this blog, please go to Beatrice’s profile and share it far and wide.  Share it via email, Facebook, Twitter, your blogs… put posters around your town if you feel led to.  But I’m begging you, please get the word out about Beatrice.  She NEEDS a family coming for her NOW,  not later!

I’ve spent a lot of time researching Beatrice’s needs and they are NOT overwhelming. I need people to understand that our reasons for letting her go have nothing to do with her medical needs!  In fact, an adoptive family currently adopting from her orphanage has confirmed that she is mostly on target for a child of her age with her condition, taking into account that she is institutionalized. 

On March 31, 2013, I received an update about Beatrice from the adoptive family at her orphanage: 

Saw your baby today for only a few seconds.  She looks good.  She was standing in her crib and later we saw her being put to sleep.

People!  SHE IS STANDING!  Regardless if she pulled herself up, this fact is worth celebrating because she has reached a huge developmental milestone!  She is blind and she chose to reach out her tiny little hands to explore her environment.  She must’ve explored enough to understand and figure out how to pull herself up to stand in her crib!!!

Another update on April 5, 2013:

Bea turned toward my voice when I said “pree vet” so I reached out and rubbed her real quick.

She can hear!  Sometimes, with congenital abnormalities like what Beatrice has, she may also have hearing loss.  Obviously, this isn’t the case with Beatrice - she can hear!

On April 25, 2013, this update was the cherry on top of her developmental milestones!  I understood that she could stand… I understood that she could hear, but could she sit up and play?

Saw your girl playing on the floor today on a blanket :) she was sitting up and had toys in both hands!!!

Aren’t these updates precious little miracles?  She is progressing despite her circumstances!  She is clearly a fighter and born with the desire to overcome!  Despite her lack of proper therapies and attention from a Mother and Father, Beatrice is growing and exploring! 

IMAGINE her potential in a family, receiving therapy and medical care!!!

Please, share Beatrice!  Please pray for her!  Please advocate for her!  Please consider bringing Beatrice home to be your daughter!  What a great blessing she would be!

**Next week, her grant amount will increase to be at least $10,262!  Can we keep it growing?**

5/15/13 UPDATE:  Regarding the statement above - Beatrice’s grant increase announcement was premature and I apologize for any inconveniences.